Small Breed Dogs Continue to Oversee Human Breeding – More evidence has recently surfaced that small dogs in Hollywood are responsible for selective breeding; finding human specimens with superior qualities and characteristics, and arranging for them to copulate.
Witnesses say That Scarlett Johansson’s Chihuahua, Maggie, is the latest small breed dog to do so; allegedly making plans for her to breed with Sexiest Man Alive, Ryan Reynolds.
Unconfirmed reports claim that Maggie has tried to sabotage the couple’s attempts at birth control, and has gone so far as to take a supervisory position at the foot of the bed.
“Ryan has always complained that Maggie bosses him around, and has claimed that Scarlett treats him as a distant second to the 7 pound Chihuahua dictator,” added one source. “Now Maggie is pressuring him to perform every time she ovulates.”
It is still unknown why small dogs like Chihuahuas in Hollywood are using eugenics (selective breeding) to create a group of genetically enhanced babies, but some suspect that it is part of a larger sinister plot.
A historian in the Los Angeles area added, “Throughout history dictators and royalty have arranged favorable marriages, or tried to use eugenics develop master races or to gain power.”
“Now, look at the tiny dogs that control celebrity couples like Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom and Giselle and Tom Brady. I believe the dogs are literally forcing them to breed. For some reason, the small dogs are now trying to create a group of genetically superior babies. You start to put the pieces together, and it’s kind of scary. What are they planning?”
What celebrity couple will be next in this mysterious, diabolical plot!?