More Celebrity Selective Breeding?

by kevin on November 19th, 2010

in Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johannson

scarlett johansson dogSmall Breed Dogs Continue to Oversee Human Breeding – More evidence has recently surfaced that small dogs in Hollywood are responsible for selective breeding; finding human specimens with superior qualities and characteristics, and arranging for them to copulate.

Witnesses say That Scarlett Johansson’s Chihuahua, Maggie, is the latest small breed dog to do so; allegedly making plans for her to breed with Sexiest Man Alive, Ryan Reynolds.

Unconfirmed reports claim that Maggie has tried to sabotage the couple’s attempts at birth control, and has gone so far as to take a supervisory position at the foot of the bed.

ryan reynolds

Genetic Chihuahua Pawn?

“Ryan has always complained that Maggie bosses him around, and has claimed that Scarlett treats him as a distant second to the 7 pound Chihuahua dictator,” added one source. “Now Maggie is pressuring him to perform every time she ovulates.”

It is still unknown why small dogs like Chihuahuas in Hollywood are using eugenics (selective breeding) to create a group of genetically enhanced babies, but some suspect that it is part of a larger sinister plot.

A historian in the Los Angeles area added, “Throughout history dictators and royalty have arranged favorable marriages, or tried to use eugenics develop master races or to gain power.”

“Now, look at the tiny dogs that control celebrity couples like  Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom and Giselle and Tom Brady. I believe the dogs are literally forcing them to breed. For some reason, the small dogs are now trying to create a group of genetically superior babies. You start to put the pieces together, and it’s kind of scary. What are they planning?

giselle brady dog

Tom Pressured by Gisele's Yorkie, Vida, to perform?

What celebrity couple will be next in this mysterious, diabolical plot!?

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Grant December 2, 2010 at 3:41 pm

hahaha what?! how can a dog prevent birth control lol but i will admit its pretty dang funny!

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Digestion August 11, 2011 at 9:57 am

I really find it funny when Maggie interferes with Scarlett Johanson and Ryan Reynolds. She is a jealous type. I’m not that fond of Chihuahua’s. I more of a large breed type dog lover.

Jennifer Diaz May 10, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Haha! This one funny. Birth control for puppies? I think, they should treat Maggie for some dog massage. Make her feel a lot better.

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